I’ve heard that as a relationship
grows older, the distance between them grows too –
first emotionally, even if it’s subconsciously,
and then physically, as seen as they sleep on either ends of
their king size mattress. Maybe that’s why I love
a small mattress, I think it will force us to stay together.
Sure, you may want your space, and I will give that to you
daily. Feel free to take up beautiful amounts of space,
and move freely around without me because we aren’t one
person, but we can be two persons that come together at night
and close that distance between us so that there is no more space.
There’s just you and me, squished on a small mattress,
and I couldn’t be more comfortable, first physically. Then emotionally.
22 November 2020
rain falls heavily above.
i hear the droplets smack loudly against the roof
and i fear that it will not provide enough protection.
if the ceiling caves in, we’ll be exposed to the brewing storm.
but fear not my friend, i will pull the covers over our heads
and let the rain fade out as our ears drown in our sheets.
now close your eyes and fade away too, towards sleep.
let us wake when the storm passes
and our sorrows dry up in the warmth of day.
17 January 2021
why is it that I find it so hard to wake up in the morning?
i’d rather sink beneath the sheets and lose myself in dreams.
but the morning starts slow, and i go slower as my body aches
how can I face another day when it starts with soiled thoughts?
fill the tub and give me a moment to ease my emotions.
the weight of my comforter can be replaced by another
as i lower myself, i look to the waters to weigh in as comfort.
bathe myself in dried rose petals, soaked and cleansed.
the rose petals become less and less distinguishable, but
i fight to distinguish myself from them as they dissolve to nothing.
maybe it’s enough to last me another day. let the tub drain.
11 April 2021
Music plays undisturbed in the background. The sound drifts through the air leaving the traces of a sweet, melancholic melody. It is the only noise disturbing the thought traffic in my brain. The sound is faint, but the words are clear and crisp leaving an imprint on the eardrums of those within reach of the rhythm. When the melody reaches me, it leaves more than a sole imprint. Just as a traveler walks into a hotel and leaves with the same suitcases, so should the rhythm of a song disappear once its last note is played. Yet, this is not the case. The music plays, diving into the groove of my memory and leaving… which in turn leaves me feeling nothing but a numbness throughout my essence.
8 December 2015
They say that darkness is solely in existence because it is the lack of light. Yet light can be created and extinguished. Whereas the darkness lurks in the shadows of the universe. The essence of darkness is still there, hidden within the particles of the light. It creeps into the cracks of the universe, not always to be seen. The darkness creeps quietly and waits patiently for the time that the light falls one last time. Just as a star dies, the ultimate reaction does not automatically fall to the birth of darkness. The light flickers; it shakes and reveals how fragile its entity truly is. Once its emitted rays disappear, its absence solely exposes what was there since the beginning of time.
7 December 2015
Sometimes I get these thoughts in my head which are never intentional. They’re those thoughts that enter without giving a knock on the old noggin. Then I sit here like a fool with a smile that sketches across my face from ear to ear. My cheeks begin to ache, but the smile never fades. It’s one of those foolish smiles that either makes the Joker jealous or cringe. Sorry for my dorky reference, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve been thinking about you. Nonstop. Everything I do or see reminds me of you. Even the sheets of my bed are affected by your touch. Your sweetness lingers from the night before as we cuddled and talked. The thought of this leaves me in a state of tremendous happiness and I find myself wanting to let you know how beautiful you truly are. So I guess the best way to start is with a simple….
The best words to follow are from I quote I once read: “you are a caricature in a land of stick figures”. I have never met anyone who can affect me the way you do. There is so much more to you than what meets the eye. When I stare into your gorgeous eyes, I see so much depth and intelligence. Sometimes the thought scares me, but it excites me at the same time. These are just a few reason as to why you’re my world… why I want to explore your world… why I want to explore the depths of your entity… why I think I’m beginning to fall for you.
My strong, exquisite Sasquatch
My little bawcock
My honey bunches of oats
10 November 2015
It all felt surreal, as if I was in a dream. The light seemed to shine through his eyes even during the darkest hour.
I’d be lying there with the sensation of being a thought amidst the endless, roaring sea of the mind. I’d float about in the peripherals of one’s conscious; then the subconscious would whisk me away because I’m one banal thought in many.
Yet, the light in his eyes act as the limelight shining only on me. He reminds me that every individual quark within the atom is relevant to the entity.
4 October 2015
The feeling begins when a certain thought creeps into your mind.
It’s a pleasant thought which makes you smile uncontrollably. You can’t help yourself as a smile stretches across your face from ear to ear. You haven’t smiled like this in a while, so it aches. Your cheeks hurt, but the smile won’t leave you.
Then the feeling starts to grow on you, within you. It crawls down your throat, leaving a tickle as its trace. It crawls towards your chest. As its touch is felt, it leaves a warmth which spreads all throughout your body.
Nothing else really matters in that moment.
18 September 2015
I didn’t see the emptiness approach. I had been filled with emotions. A plethora of happiness one may say. Happiness took so much space there was no vacancy within my chest and mind. Although there had been a crack in my heart which gave way for another to forcefully welcome their stay. Happiness was no longer the alpha; emptiness seized power and sentenced emotions to exile.
I closed my arms tighter around the pillow with hopes to comfort my curled body, and catch every falling tear. The tears escaped my eyes, which were squeezed tightly shut, and they rolled down the side of my face dreading the exile they now faced. The emptiness within myself was no lodger for emotions. The two did not reside together. They competed for the title of alpha state. As emptiness took hold of the space within my chest and mind, the emotions fled. Their humane water, bodily forms dragged their traces behind them until they found refuge in the pillow’s soft material.
19 July 2015
I sat in a state of awe, unable to move as I awaited the presence of the darkness. It crept slowly, sauntering on all fours. Its gaze, if perceived, never glanced away. It latched onto me, like a true predator which never allowed its prey escape out of its peripherals. Yet, I felt no fear as the darkness settled before me and reached out a hand. Soft to the touch at first, I welcomed the presence willingly. I yearned for the feeling, overwhelming but ecstatic. Every fiber of my body shook, and the nerves danced as if the micro particles of my body danced endlessly. The arch of my back became more profound as my body curved and twisted along with the rhythm of ecstasy.
Then darkness pulled back teasingly. My eyes shut tight and it swept over me like a dream, a slight blur moving along to the hum of my breathing. The air entered and fled out of my lungs in quick, sharp intervals, but your presence beside me begged for me to stay in the moment. A voice rolled into my ear, a tender whisper asking for me to breath in – the cold, crisp air pouring into my lungs – and then to proceed with a long exhale – the warmth of my breath turning into micro crystals hanging in the obscure room. I swooned as your voice tickled my ear; the drums rolled creating discreet vibrations. If your voice was a call from the heavens, then I would not need to be persuaded to follow your steps into the light for in your presence is where the greatest perfection lies. I would be whisked away as the rhythm continued in the darkness, and my soul swept into the arms of an eternal heavenly essence.
21 May 2015